“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Familiar wedding words. Romantic in the moment, and then easily left behind. But can you imagine a marriage that actually functioned with that kind of love?
No matter what problems exist in your marriage right now, just think about if this kind of love was present in your home. Not even that if it was shown to you, but if you showed this kind of love to your spouse. What would happen to your own anger, bitterness, apathy, etc., if the love you showed to him/her was patient and kind, not envying, not boastful, not arrogant or rude, not self-seeking, not irritable or resentful, bearing, believing, hoping, enduring all things?
I am sure you can picture the kind of wild transformation there would be if you embodied this. But maybe as you read those verses you also have a sense of the impossibility before you.
I have officiated a lot of weddings in the past decade, sometimes for believing couples and sometimes for unbelieving. One of the times that I officiated for an unbelieving couple, I preached from 1 Corinthians 13. I remember that message so clearly because as I read Paul’s words, I felt this intense discouragement for the bride and groom knowing that they were not going to be able to fulfill what I what was describing.
Because the fact is that 1 Corinthians 13 is a description of the kind of love that is only possible with the empowering help of the Spirit of Christ. Just remember how Paul begins his list in Galatians, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love…” (Galatians 5.22). Without the Spirit enabling and guiding, 1 Corinthians 13 becomes frustrating idealism. But with the Spirit it becomes the pathway to a fruitful marriage!
All this to say, as I read 1 Corinthians 13 this week, I realized more than ever that the biggest problem in my marriage is me, and the greatest solution for my marriage is the Spirit. In the words of that old vineyard song, “Holy Spirit come.”